Humor

 

Hehehe… Kyllingen Henvender sig til Mahmut og beder ham om at tale Meen Mahmut er nu et spejlæg .. snøft!

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Jeg har svært ved at forklare min far hvad jeg laver, så jeg fortæller ham at jeg står på en scene og sviner indvandrere til. Han tænker lidt og konstaterer så; ”Du er altså blevet politiker” (Omar, dansk standup-komiker af ægyptisk herkomst)

 

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Det racistiske ægtepar

 

Min kone er stukket af og har taget alle vores penge med.Så er du alligevel heldigere end jeg, svarede vennen.Min kone har taget alle vores penge, men hun er blevet hjemme.

Little Jacob had a hard time getting use to a new baby in the house. Coming out of his bedroom talking rather loud and being told to be quiet, the baby is asleep, he very seriously said, “Well ya’ll better be quiet, cause my foot`s asleep.” Submitted by his Grandma

HEHEHE KuN FOR TYRKERE,,,

Mænd og huspligter

- Dyrker din mand motion?

- Ok ja, han springer over en masse huslige pligter!

TAG DEN!

Tanten til lille frække Frederik:

- og hvad vil du så gøre, når du bliver lige så stor som mig , lille ven?

Drengen: - Gå på slankekur.

Stol på det
Dommeren til vidnet: - De så altså de to tiltalte gå løs på hinanden med en stol?

Vidnet:- Ja.

Dommeren:- Hvorfor i alverden foretog De Dem så ikke noget?

Vidnet:- Der var ikke flere stole!

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn’t have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job, and I’m staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.”The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job and I’m staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.” The head stewardesses doesn’t even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.

The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, “I told her the front half of the airplane wasn’t going to Jamaica.”

SNØØØFT!

Hehehe - et billede, som jeg virkelig er glad for - grineren

Once, the people of the city invited Mulla Nasruddin to deliver a speech. When he got on the minbar (pulpit), he found the audience was not very enthusiastic, so he asked “Do you know what I am going to say?” The audience replied “NO”, so he announced “I have no desire to speak to people who don’t even know what I will be talking about” and he left. The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day.

This time when he asked the same question, the people replied “YES” So Mullah Nasruddin said, “Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won’t waste any more of your time” and he left. Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mullah to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question - “Do you know what I am going to say?” Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered “YES” while the other half replied “NO”. So Mullah Nasruddin said “The half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the other half” and he left!

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Surrounded by Muslims

Two business men seated on an airplane noticed a Muslim man sitting in front of them, one of the men says to the other with a wink, “I was going to go to Africa until I found out that half the country is Muslim so I don’t want to go there”.

The other man says, “We’ll how about Saudi Arabia then?”

The first man says “No way, that place is loaded with those Muslims too.”

The other man suggests a trip to the US but his companion says “The Muslims have spread out over the whole country every time I turn around there I bump into one.”

The men are watching the Muslim, and can see that the Muslim man is fidgeting and getting kind of agitated about their conversation. The fellow who started the teasing decides to really get him mad and says “I really wanted to go to Pakistan but that place is crawling with Muslims”

At this the Muslim man has had it and finally turns around in his seat and sweetly says to the men, “Why don’t you both go to hell? There’s hardly any Muslims there!”
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Trying to be Impressive

A young lawyer, starting up his private practice, was very anxious to impress potential clients. When he saw the first visitor to his office come through the door, he immediately picked up his phone and spoke into it,” I’m sorry, but my caseload is so tremendous that I’m not going to be able to look into your problem for at least a month. I’ll have to get back to you then.” He then turned to the man who had just walked in, and said, “Now, what can I do for you?”

“Nothing,” replied the man. “I’m here to hook up your phone.”

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Falkeøje…??????

Der gik det galt for Julemanden

Ja- endnu igen en rigtig god joke, som jeg tror mine små islamofobiske venner her på bloggen vil kunne lide og identificere sig med

Enjoy it!

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl’s life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: “You are a hero,” tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: “Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl.” The man says: “But I am not a New Yorker!” “Oh, then it will say in newspapers in the morning: Brave American saves life of little girl” - the policeman answers. “But I am not an American!” - says the man. “Oh, what are you then?” The man says: “I am a Saudi!” Then next day the newspapers say: “Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog.” (Islamic jokes, humour)

Islamic joke

An Imam was selling his horse in the market. An interested buyer came to him and requested if he could get a test drive. The Imam told the man that this horse is unique. In order to make it walk, you have to say Subhanallah. To make it run, you have to say Alhamdulillah and to make it stop, you have to say Allahu Akbar. The man sat on the horse and said Subhanallah. The horse started to walk. Then he said Alhamdulillah and it started to run. He kept saying Alhamdulillah and the horse started running faster and faster. All of a sudden the man noticed that the horse is running towards the edge of the hill that he was riding on. Being overly fearful, he forgot how to stop the horse. He kept saying all these words out of confusion. When the horse was just near the edge, he remembered Allahu Akbar and said it out loud. The horse stopped just one step away from the edge. The man took a deep breath, looked up towards the sky and said Alhamdulillah!