Why shit happens….?!

Taoists: Shit happens
 
Confucianists: Confucius says shit happens
 
Zen Buddhists: What is the sound of shit happening
 
Buddhists: If shit happens, it isn´t really shit
 
Hinduism: This shit happened before
 
Islam: If shit happens to you, it is the will of Allah
 
Protestants: Let this shit happen to someone else
 
Catholics: If shit happens, you deserve it
 
Judaism: Why does this shit always [...]